Three of Swords
Do you cry? Are you a crier? I’m not. I don’t cry really. I mean, I cried when I put my beloved dog to sleep, sure. I cry at funerals. I cry if something terrible happens to someone I love. But generally, no. “There’s no crying in baseball…” is an expression that I can relate to most of life — There’s no crying at work, no crying over spilt milk… just don’t cry ok?
Because if YOU cry, I might remember that I too have sadness in my heart. If you cry I will feel helpless and not know how to comfort you. If I’m feeling real cynical, if you cry I might suspect you’re trying to manipulate me and get angry.
Or maybe you should cry. Get it out. Let it out. Feel your feelings and express them, even if I can’t. It might make you feel better.
Lately I’ve been spending time with someone who cries a lot. I find it confusing. It makes me realize why I don’t: I wasn’t allowed to. In our family “Stop crying or I’ll GIVE you something to cry about” was by no means an empty threat. I’m sure many of you can relate to that.
My son cried when he was little, but I told him not to. I panicked if I couldn’t get him to stop crying. I didn’t hit him, or threaten to hit him… but I certainly said “STOP CRYING” in a way that might have been threatening to him as a small child. I felt guilty if he cried and cried and I couldn’t “fix” the situation for him. So I told him not to cry. And now he doesn’t. And I feel guilty about that too. Because people have the right to the full range of emotions. People have the right to grieve. People have the right to express sadness. It’s a basic human right. Why did it take me so many years to understand this simple thing?
When you get this card in a reading, don’t panic. Don’t try to minimize it. Don’t explain it away. Many people hold grief they have never been given room to express. Many people are holding it in, holding it together despite a terrible loss. If this card appears, give it the space and respect it deserves. Don’t be surprised if the client starts to cry. It’s ok. It’s ok for them to feel. Let them.